Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
