Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize