in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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