Sry I called you an 8
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
