there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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