i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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