Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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