god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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