i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
