I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That accounts for only three of the penises
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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