It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
