You just made me feel so damn special
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Hippo gnu deer
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
