This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
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