I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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