i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
