He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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