he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
