so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
