this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
