you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The uberlube is also flammable
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
