I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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