We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
