i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
