He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
