he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
