We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Someone came in the potted fern
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
