i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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