Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
