I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
