yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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