I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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