Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
