great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
