its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
