I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize