i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
