East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
