So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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