its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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