evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
