Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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