I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Green mimosas i think yes
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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