so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
