Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
