I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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