Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
