U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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