I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize