Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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