I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
