I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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