well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
