i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
