Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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