redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize