Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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